End.

The usual: With every beginning marks an ending.

My secondary school life has ended.

 

A couple or two.

More than a tenth of serenity gone.

Haha, O’s made my sleeping cycle so screwed I slept at 6pm and had to wake up at 3am to start mugging, even despite sleeping at 9pm the day before. =.= Gonna focus and get back my sleeping cycle soon, or this will go nowhere at all. Damn! Nevertheless, O’s taking place in 23 days, must really “make every second count” or I’m so not gonna hit my secret aim.

 

You.

Now you, yes you, go analyze the situation from my P.O.V.
Wait, maybe you can’t, ‘cuz you’re just another puny loser out there.
So.. do you think I even care?

On a side note, I managed to see the downright plain evil from people during this period of stress, when everyone’s so damn manipulated by power you can see through them so easily. And I’m very good at breaking friendships with those not deemed my friend, and they stay permanent, at least til I die.

 

Critical.

When all things fail, you look for a directory. Click click.

I’m half glad I’m leaving this school ‘cuz the people I’m seeing are really turning me off. The understatement that many people are under a lot of stress certainly does not validate their faults.

I’m half sad that I’m leaving this school ‘cuz I’ll miss the rest of the okay people after I graduate.

But much as I want all this to end faster, I can’t do anything but go with the speed of life. (and boy, life’s so fast now.)

 

人。

今日的我，并非往日的他。
而我现在特别有灵感，因此我想和你分享我的看法。

It’s 12 midnight and I gulped down 2 cans of Coffee tonight, but I’m tired nonetheless, mentally or physically I don’t know which. Nevertheless, the spurring coming from my classmates/schoolmates are hitting me off quite badly, especially so after I realized my Prelims results sucks as compared to the rest. Anyhow, tonight’s an inspirational night, so let me pen down my thoughts while the night is still young.

I come to realize that a lot of people hate backstabbers and hypocrites (now who doesn’t?) but I particularly hate another group of people. I don’t care whether you’re my best friend, close friend, kin, pet in pet society, penpal or whatnot, but if you actually belong to this category at that point in time (yes its not everlasting), you’re actually condemned by me ‘cos I really cannot stand this group of people! But no, it doesn’t necessarily mean that if you belong here, you’re not my friend anymore but its just that I really cannot stand you for that minute of the day only.

I really hate people who doubt. Like most of time, I’d done my research and if not, you can just correctly correct me by providing me with reliable sources of information to validate the truth/fact. Like for instance, when I make a point, I actually know what point I’m making, BUT JUST BECAUSE YOU DON’T KNOW ITS TRUE, you actually reply with a “really meh? ya yeah right.” Although yours truly has the tendency to produce the quality of crabmeat from my words, I really don’t think its plausible to unjustify my words, that if when I’m dead serious bout something.

For your information, I’m using these subjects for my L1R5:
L1: English
R5:
- E. Maths (Math/Sci)
- Geog (Humans)
- A. Maths (Best 1)
- Chinese (Best 2)
- Combined SS/Hist (Best 3)

It is possible to NOT use any of the sciences or mathematics. I’ve checked and affirmed that for your R5, the specifications only require 1 maths/science, 1 humanities and your best 3. So IT IS POSSIBLE to use the above L1R5 for admission to JC (either without sciences OR without any maths). The only conclusion that I can give for anyone that doubt me is that you have not paid attention in class during the assembly and goodluck to you. If need be, just check with any of the teachers thank you very much.

And yes I know my grade for English for this Prelims sucks big time.
@Rochelleroars: if you are reading this, please allow your braincells to be notified that firegrass will totally own your socks in O levels ESPECIALLY IN ENGLISH KAY. YOU WAIT AND SEE.

With that, goodnight.

12:24. Not exactly tired but pretty exhausted. The effects of caffeine is amazing at the expense of health.
人世间，友何物？

 

Tears of jubilation.

Then I woke up at 3 AM, having slept a mere 3 hours, to find myself indulged in moments of the unearthly hours. I’m not exactly tired but then the recollection of the previous night seemed to be a terror to begin with. Thanks for all who cared, but that’s not the end. Oh, and I figured mugging at 3 AM is ideally smooth.

 

Tonight.

Tonight is the night everything went wrong.
Tonight is the night my thoughts and confessions spill.
Tonight is the night I felt the most from the past 5 months.
Tonight is the night.

I don’t believe in working hard. Having consistently mugged for the past months (or at least consistently trying to put in work), which I don’t even consider as hardcore mugging by the way, my Prelims results sucks. So theoretically, I should work harder and keep fighting, working through my last stretch of days and gain my best performance, right? Then how come my body has to be burnt out right now. So much for Mind over Body, I hope I just get  a 12/13 for O’s and laugh my ass(es) off everyone.

I don’t believe in true friendships. I once did and my horses got trampled. This is reality, and no one as true as pure diamond would exist. Why in the first place do you people have to instill false hopes in me then you went to push me off the peak and then later proclaim that the world is fair. Why in the slightest corner of the earth do you people have to squeeze such an attention into my grounds?

I hate you. I hate you for being my friend. I hate meeting all of you. I hate how this world works and I totally can’t contain my fury towards how things are happening. I don’t like this, especially when both you and I know this is it, and you went tit for tat. I really hate how this is happening, I won’t be with you anymore. No more.

My success is only about me. From tonight onwards, I work hard only for myself and nothing else. So just shut up and move on.

 

So wrong.

Inevitably the vicious cycle comes about,
another phase of life it returns.
Apparently I haven’t been paying (much) attention,
because for all I know (and yes I do),
the wrongdoings repeat themselves.

The difference right now is that the cycle happened once before,
the people through it have experienced all.
This delight or melancholy calls for a breakthrough,
but then this time no one’s with me.

Hi People,
O’s coming and I can see how hard all my friends are chionging. -.-
*winks at karrui for studying til 6.23 AM.
Nevertheless, life’s a bore with exams so we must keep up with the times.
I must score A1 for my Geography (a must!) to make up to Ms Sia.
I’m feeling indignant right now ‘cuz my body’s not in a mood to study,
especially when the exam’s nearing so fast.

And did I not mention that Champion’s Day was joyous and memorable?
But then I’ve to wake up and continue my mugging career.
So off I go to mutilate my brain cells. Tata.

 

Prelim Results.

Welcome to my latest blog post!
It’s such a bloody long day,
I managed to get home by 6.30,
had my dinner a short while later,
and here I am, typing away,
when O level’s in 40 days how dreadful!
Updates on Prelim Results:

English – B3 to B4
Higher Chinese – C6 to C5
Pure Geography – A2 to B4
Combined Humans – A2 to A1
E. Maths – C6 to B3
A. Maths – E8 to C5
Pure Physics – F9 to B4
Pure Chemistry – C5 to A2
Chinese (O’s) – A1

L1R5: 19 to 15!

(1 + 1 + 2 + 3 + 4 + 4)

Note: Marks in Red are yet to be confirmed.

All in all, I got pretty decent grades, a 5 grade jump from F9 to B4 for Physics (amazing?), topped class for SS with a score of 47/50 ALTHOUGH I failed the SBQ class test with another neat score of 1/25 just the day before the prelims paper (and I wrote 4 pages for class test mind you!) Chem got A2 happy happy, but then I guess with like 77 A1s from 401 and 402, I’ve got nothing much to be happy about. The rest’s mediocre, maths improving at a steady rate, Ms Kuck didnt see many or rather, any 0 (zeros) in the paper so yay me! And I passed Amaths for god’s sake! Geography failed me but it was cuz I failed the paper by not studying hard enough.

By and large, I am happy and satisfied with my results. I will work harder and get under 10 for O’s. I will be back.
(I love this Prelims, but not until someone tell me it’s not staged.)

Updates:
- Got 41 for History. Total of 88% w00ts! 2nd in class ‘cuz 1st was 89% WTH RIGHT.
- Screwed up Geog like mad. But I’ll be back! (this is for real.)

 

Insert whatever, whatever that fits.

Listening to the music that synchronizes with the walks of life,
I feel a sense of melancholy from nowhere.
It was 11.00 PM, and I was feeling really groggy.
Enervation could only call for a goodnight’s sleep,
but what follows was a spark of thoughts that hit me hard.

It’s O’s soon, everyone’s to go through this phase.
And trust me, with the DSA acceptance that put me ahead of others,
this exams isn’t of any feat at all.
It’s not that I’m feeling the complacency of doing exceedingly well,
but it’s that I come to realization much more often that this exam,
the very big O’s that ‘gonna affect us greatly in the coming future’,
is of the lesser concerns in life.
And trust me, it is.

I was lying on my bed, tired.
Then I pinched myself hard,
I wanted to motivate myself for O’s,
then I looked around everywhere suddenly.
I looked around for signs of life.

It’s daunting sometimes, really,
to find yourself leaving this non-existent world one day,
to indulge in a world of darkness,
to forget all that has happened,
to delete and erase all the memories,
fair or foul, boon or bane,
to end everything.
The feeling’s indescribable,
and even when trying to describe,
I feel so lost.
So, so lost.

My only wish right now,
is to live my only life to the fullest.